Quote of the Day (2015-01-31)

Jim Hacker: "The trouble with Brussels is not internationalism, it is too much bureaucracy."

Sir Humphrey: "But the bureaucracy is a consequence of the internationalism. Why else would there be an English Commissioner with a French Director-General immediately below him, and an Italian Chef-du-Division reporting to the Frenchman and so on down the line."

Jim Hacker: "Oh, I agree."

Sir Humphrey: "It is like the Tower of Babel."

Jim Hacker: "I agree."

Sir Humphrey: "No, it's even worse, it is like the United Nations."

Jim Hacker: "I agree."

Bernard Woolley: "Then perhaps, if I may interject, you are in fact in agreement."

Jim Hacker & Sir Humphrey: "No we're not!"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-01-30)

Basil Fawlty: [about Sybil's laugh] Sounds like somebody machine-gunning a seal.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2015-01-29)

Mary: Hey, you want to go upstairs and watch SportsCenter?

Ted: No, I think I'm just going to quit while I'm ahead.

Mary: You're not that far ahead, Ted.

Source: There's Something About Mary

Quote of the Day (2015-01-28)

Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.

Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see...

Gale: Shut up!

Feisty Hayseed: Okay then.

Gale: Everybody down on the ground!

Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now.

Gale: Better still to get down there.

Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya?

[Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows]

Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go?

Teller's voices: We're down here, sir.

Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2015-01-27)

Sir Humphrey: "Bernard, Ministers should never know more than they need to know. Then they can't tell anyone. Like secret agents, they could be captured and tortured."

Bernard: "You mean by terrorists?"

Sir Humphrey: "By the BBC, Bernard."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-01-26)

Russ Cargill: Mr. President, you chose me, Russ Cargill, most successful man in America, to head the EPA, the least successful organization. That's why I've narrowed your choices down to five unthinkable options.

[spreads the files on the President's desk]

Russ Cargill: Each one will cause untold misery and...

President Schwarzenegger: [points to File #3] I pick Number Three!

Russ Cargill: Really? You don't want to read them first?

President Schwarzenegger: I was elected to *lead*, not to *read*. Number Three!

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2015-01-25)

Always, no sometimes, think it's me, but you know I know when it's a dream.

I think I know I mean a 'yes' but it's all wrong, that is I think I disagree.

Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2015-01-24)

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2015-01-23)

Jim Hacker: "Sir Mark thinks there maybe votes in it. And if so, I don't intend to look a gift horse in the mouth."

Sir Humphrey: "I put it to you, Minister, that you are looking a Trojan Horse in the mouth."

Jim Hacker: "If we look closely at this gift horse, we'll find it's full of Trojans?"

Bernard Woolley: "If you had looked a Trojan Horse in the mouth, Minister, you would have found Greeks inside. Well the point is that it was the Greeks that gave the Trojan Horse to the Trojans, so technically it wasn't a Trojan Horse at all, it was a Greek Horse. Hence the tag Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes which you recall is usually, and somewhat inaccurately translated as Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. Or doubtless you would have recalled had you not attended the LSE. [...] No well, the point is, Minister, that just as the Trojan Horse was in fact Greek, what you describe as a Greek tag is in fact Latin. It's obvious really, the Greeks would never suggest bewaring of themselves if one used such a participle, bewaring that is, and it is clearly Latin, not because Timeo ends in 'o', because the Greek first person also ends in 'o'. Though actually, there is a Greek word called Timao meaning I honour. But the 'os' ending is a nominative singular termination of the second declension in Greek, and an accusative plural in Latin of course, though actually Danaos is not only the Greek for Greek but also the Latin for Greek, it is very interesting really."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-01-22)

Gareth: I've got a new theory about marriage. Two people are in love, they live together, and then suddenly one day, they run out of conversation.

Charles: Uh-huh.

Gareth: Totally. I mean they can't think of a single thing to say to each other. That's it: panic! Then suddenly it-it occurs to the chap that there is a way out of the deadlock.

Charles: Which is?

Gareth: He'll ask her to marry him.

Charles: Brilliant! Brilliant!

Gareth: Suddenly they've got something to talk about for the rest of their lives.

Charles: Basically you're saying marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation.

Gareth: The definitive icebreaker.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2015-01-21)

Basil Fawlty: [exasperated with Manuel] Please! Try to understand before one of us dies.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2015-01-20)

And Sir Robin-the-not-quite-so-pure-as-Sir-Launcelot, who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnor, who had nearly stood up to to the vicious Chicken of Bristol, and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-01-19)

LAUNCELOT Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I'm-I'm not quite dead, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!

CONCORDE: Uh, I-I think uh, I could pull through, sir.

LAUNCELOT: Oh, I see.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-01-18)

C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...?

Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2015-01-17)

Mr. Smiley's Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here.

Lester Burnham: I have fast food experience.

Mr. Smiley's Manager: Yeah, like twenty years ago!

Lester Burnham: Well, I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but surely you must have some sort of training program. It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2015-01-16)

As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. [ulk] The cartoon peril was no more. The Quest for Holy Grail could continue.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-01-15)

Reverend Lovejoy: This so-called new religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first, let's pass the collection plate.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2015-01-14)

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Source: Monty Python's Flying Circus

Quote of the Day (2015-01-13)

FATHER: One day, lad, all this will be yours!

HERBERT: What, the curtains?

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-01-12)

Toula Portokalos: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"

Maria Portokalos: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

Source: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Quote of the Day (2015-01-11)

Living is easy with eyes closed

Misunderstanding all you see

Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2015-01-10)

Uncle Willie: [hung over] Awww... this is one of those days that the pages of history teach us are best spent lying in bed.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2015-01-09)

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year's gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it's not to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably. Happy birthday? No such thing.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-01-08)

HEAD KNIGHT: Shh shh. We are now the Knights Who Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble.

RANDOM: Nee!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-01-07)

H.I.: We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2015-01-06)

Cletus: He really speaks to me, the average Joe six-tooth.

Cletus's Wife: When did you get another tooth?

Cletus: The sidewalk.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2015-01-05)

"We're friends. If I'm going to be uncomfortable, you gotta be uncomfortable too!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2015-01-04)

All right all right all right we'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2015-01-03)

Sir Humphrey: "It is characteristic of all committee discussions and decisions that every member has a vivid recollection of them and that every member's recollection of them differs violently from every other member's recollection. Consequently, we accept the convention that the official decisions are those and only those which have been officially recorded in the minutes by the Officials, from which it emerges with an elegant inevitability that any decision which has been officially reached will have been officially recorded in the minutes by the Officials and any decision which is not recorded in the minutes is not been officially reached even if one or more members believe they can recollect it, so in this particular case, if the decision had been officially reached it would have been officially recorded in the minutes by the Officials. And it isn't so it wasn't."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2015-01-02)

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2015-01-01)

Lester Burnham: [narrating] That's my wife, Carolyn. See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident.

Source: American Beauty